The Carla and Crappy Show

Carla and Crappy Show: The Go To Bed Early Edition

It’s Week 8 of the college football season, and we’re breaking new ground. For the first time ever in the 11-year history of this little podcast, Crappy’s not here, Carla’s playing the role of host, and AJ recommends that we all go to bed early this week. Wait. What? Yep, Carla and AJ are holding down the fort this week, looking back at last week’s incredible games (other than the ones Carla had rooting interests in), singing a little song about the Big Red Bears, and getting excited about points. Also, Tree! (The Stanford Postulate lives for another year!) And yes, it’s true, AJ says that this weekend, it’s OK to go to bed early as the late night slate is … not spectacular. That being said, there are a lot of good games early in the day, so prepare yourself accordingly. No. 14 Syracuse at No. 5 Clemson (Noon ET, ABC): Is Syracuse good? We’re still not sure. But we do know that Clemson is on a roll. Iowa at No. 2 Ohio State (Big Nude, FOX): OK, so we really just left this game on the agenda in honor of Crappy. Bucks. Next? Memphis at No. 25 Tulane (3:30 ET, ESPN2): AJ’s got his eye on this one, because Memphis is confusing and Tulane is … kind of OK? No. 9 UCLA at No. 10 Oregon (3:30 ET, FOX): This is the must-watch game of the day. Big offenses. Not much defense. A Fun Index of almost 70. And Chip Kelly returns to Autzen. Pass the popcorn, please. No. 20 Texas at No. 11 Oklahoma St. (3:30 ET ABC): Quinn Ewers seems to be the real deal. How do the Pokes respond after last weekend’s meltdown? Boise State at Air Force (7 ET, CBSSN): AJ’s intrigued by this one. Carla’s just laughing that Air Force doesn’t have a passing game. No. 24 Mississippi St. at No. 6 Alabama (7 ET, ESPN): Bama is definitely mortable … which means this might not end well for the Bulldogs. Minnesota at No. 16 Penn State (7:30 ET, ABC): Carla’s real nervous about this one, but the annual whiteout helps. No. 17 Kansas State at No. 8 TCU (8 ET, FS1): This game’s for first place in the Big 12. Let that sink in. Then, go locate FS1 on your channel guide. While AJ bemoans the lack of a late-night slate, Carla gives an honorable mention to Kansas at Baylor (Noon ET, ESPN2), because maybe this is the week Rock Chalk gets a bowl game? Maybe? Either way, enjoy all of the football this weekend kids … and enjoy that extra bit of sleep. After this season, we all need it. Cheers, yinz.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Eff Around And Find Out Edition

Do you have questions about college football? This weekend’s college football has answers. Week 7 of the season has what we need to finally figure out a whole bunch of teams. Ranked on ranked games? Got those. Matchups of undefeateds? Got those too. This is when we’re going to eff around and find out. Carla was not super impressed with the endings of the last two games she watched Saturday (Jimbo? Really?) And because he’s not so good at following rules, Crappy managed to turn his look back into a look ahead (It’s like it was his birthday or something). The Big Red Bears played well in their nationally televised game against Harvard, as did Crappy’s nephew Drew Powell. And AJ’s #G5AD slate is overflowing, from watching Kansas at noon to the Rainbow Warriors (the Official Non-Affiliated College Football Programs of the Carla and Crappy Show) kicking off at Midnight eastern. Games? Eh, there are a couple. No. 10 Penn State at No. 5 Michigan (BIG NUDE, Fox) Carla knows what Penn State has to do to beat Michigan on the road. Crappy does too — but he’s really wishing this game was in State College. Noon, ESPN 2 No. 19 Kansas at Oklahoma (Noon, EPSN2) Why? WHY? Why is Oklahoma favored by 8.5 points? WHYYYYYY? Minnesota at No. 24 Illinois (Noon, BTN) The return of Minnesota tailback Mohamed Ibrahim American football player to the Gophers’ roster might be enough to propel them to a tough road win. No. 3 Alabama at No. 6 Tennessee (3:30, CBS) Carla sees a tight game here. Crappy thinks the disrespect card that Nick Saban has undoubtedly been waving around all week is going to mean bad things for the Vols. No. 8 Oklahoma State at No. 13 TCU (3:30, ABC) On paper these teams are dead even. Even the QBs, Spencer Sanders and Max Duggan, look to be statistical twins – but only one of them has been one of the hottest QBs in the country recently. No. 15 NC State at No. 18 Syracuse (3:30, ACC Network) Carla’s got ‘cuse the Carrier Dome. Crappy is confused. LSU at Florida (7, ESPN) Which team is buying in to the new coach’s program? It feels like that’s LSU. No. 4 Clemson at Florida State (7:30, ABC) Crappy’s fascination with the Seminoles could come to a stop here, unless they’re able to beat Climpson at home. Unlikely. No. 16 Mississippi State at No. 22 Kentucky (7:30, SEC Network) These two teams appear to be headed in different directions recently – will the trajectories continue? 8 USC at 20 Utah (8, Fox) Can USC handle a physical matchup? We’ll find out in Salt Lake City Saturday night. And with a couple final notes — Carla and Middle’s rivalry game this weekend, while Crappy is still babbling about baseball — and a surprise birthday greeting (listen to the end, boys and girls), A.J., Carla and Crappy are ready to enjoy about 15 hours of college football on Saturday. And they hope you can do the same. Thanks and enjoy, yinz guys.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Alternate Universe Edition

Crappy is enamored with the ACC. Carla’s watching the Big 12. What in the name of college football is going on? You know this answer: We have no idea. What we do know, however, is that it’s Week 6 of the 2022 season, and we’re having so much fun following all of the intriguing storylines that we’ve decided to do yet another speed round. After recapping last weekend, including Crappy’s recent obsession with Clemson and Florida State (huh?) and Carla’s analysis of Meep at Middle (womp, womp), we check in with the Big Red Bears (yay, Drew!). AJ offers his analysis of the games we all should be watching this weekend in his #GroupOfFiveAfterDark report, and then we get down to it. No. 8 Tennessee at No. 25 LSU (Noon ET, ESPN): It’s a strength-on-strength matchup between LSU’s defense and the Vols’ offense. We take opposing sides here. No. 17 TCU at No. 19 Kansas (Noon ET, FS1): While we both are wishing for a 6-0 Kansas team, the TCU offense might be too much. Texas vs. Oklahoma (Noon ET, ABC): It’s the Red River Rivalry. It’s always stupid fun. And this year, it might become a shootout. No. 11 Utah at No. 18 UCLA (3:30 ET, FOX): The Bruins are … good? The Utes feel right at home at the Rose Bowl, though. (Ask Crappy about that.) No. 16 BYU vs. Notre Dame (7:30 ET, NBC): The Mormons and the Catholics play a football game in Vegas. No, there’s no punchline. That’s actually what’s happening. Texas A&M at No. 1 Alabama (8 ET, CBS): Honestly, we’re just here for the coaching drama. Florida State at No. 14 NC State (8 ET, ACC Network): Both of these teams are coming off disappointing losses. How will they respond? Carla gives an honorable mention nod to Washington State at No. 6 USC (7:30 ET, FOX), while Crappy ponders why Sparty still gives him that nervous feeling as his No. 3 Buckeyes head to East Lansing (4 ET, ABC). So, yeah. We still have no idea. But we’re loving it all, and that’s why we love college football. Enjoy the games this weekend, yinz. Cheers.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Meeps, Middles and Mortables Edition

Meep = University of Texas at San Antonio Roadrunners.
Middle = Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders.
Mortable = A combination of the words “mortal” and “beatable,” coined totally intentionally by Uncle Crappy in this week’s show.
And with that, it’s Week Five of the college football season, and boys and girls, the fun is only just getting started. Carla and Crappy had more fun than most last weekend, as Carla’s MTSU Blue Raiders turned their South Beach vacation into a South Beach beatdown over The U; Crappy should probably be more concerned that OU needed to score 59 to beat an FCS school – but that was waaaaay too much fun to be worrying.
We might be worried, however, about the Big Red Bears, who were handled by Yale at home on Saturday. BREAKING NEWS SINCE THIS WEEK’S SHOW WAS RECORDED: Crappy’s nephew Drew Powell has been cleared to play this weekend at Colgate, so Cornell’s fortunes are sure to take a turn for the better.
After AJ takes us through the G5/Pac-12/Various late-night games, Carla and Crappy find themselves with enough games on their plate that they’re going no-huddle once again.
Friday:
UTSA at Middle Tennessee (7:30 p.m., CBSSN)
Neither Crappy nor Carla, who will attend this game in person, are expecting a letdown for Middle.
Saturday:
No. 4 Michigan at Iowa (Big Nude, Fox)
Maryland made Michigan look totally mortable last week – and Iowa’s defense could do the same.
No. 7 Kentucky at No. 14 Ole Miss (Noon, ESPN)
Kentucky is contending, and John Calipari is nowhere to be found.
Texas Tech at No. 25 Kansas State (Noon, ESPN Plus)
Big wins for both of these teams last weekend, but K-State is built for the long haul.
No. 2 Alabama at Arkansas (3:30, CBS)
Bama’s looked mortable at times this year as well, but will Hoo Pig be the team to knock them off?
No. 9 OK State at No. 16 Baylor (3:30, Fox)
Strength on strength here: ‘Pokes’ Spencer Sanders – and his dozen years of experience – versus the Bears’ tough defense.
No. 22 Wake Forest at No. 23 Florida State (3:30, ABC)
Are the 2022 Seminoles for real? We’re about to find out.
No. 10 NC State at No. 5 Clemson (7:30, ABC)
DJU still doesn’t look like the guy Dabo probably thought he was getting, and even though he’ll be playing at home, he’s going to get a test from the Pack’s defense.
Enjoy this weekend’s Meeps, Middles, mortables and – we hope – many carries for Drew, boys and girls, and we’ll see you back here next week. Cheers, yinz.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Contender or Pretender Speed Round Edition

Are you for real? Carla and Crappy are, we assure you. But we're not as certain about a whole mess of college football teams — so we're going to take a look at a bunch of them, speed-round style, in this week's show. But before we dig into this weekend’s packed slate, we look back at the fun from last weekend. Carla’s still reveling in her Nittany Lions’ beat down at Jordan-Hare, while Crappy attempts to explain exactly what happened to Sparty out on the West Coast. (Hint: His name is Michael Penix Jr., and he used to play for Indiana.) As for the Big Red Bears? Drew Powell isn't back yet, but they looked really, really good against VMI anyway. AJ wastes no time at all digging into his always entertaining #GroupOfFiveAfterDark report, and then Carla and Crappy are off to the races: No. 5 Clemson at No. 21 Wake Forest (Noon ET, ABC): This is the first of several “We Have No Idea” games of the week. Is Clemson ready to be a national contender again? No. 20 Florida at No. 11 Tennessee (3:30 ET, CBS): The expectations for the Vols in this game are exceedingly high. Carla thinks that could bode well for Florida. No. 22 Texas at Texas Tech (3:30 ET, ESPN): Is Texas back? Yes, we’re still asking that question. Minnesota at Michigan State (3:30 ET, BTN): Are the Gophers as good as they seem? Is Sparty as bad as it looked last week? No. 15 Oregon at Washington State (4 ET, FOX): This game has our attention. Don’t forget: Wazzu beat Wisconsin in Madison already this season. No. 10 Arkansas vs. No. 23 Texas A&M (7 ET, ESPN): Hey, Arkansas? You won’t be able to sleepwalk through the beginning of this one. Wisconsin at No. 3 Ohio State (7:30 ET, ABC): Will Wisconsin fail its second test of the season? Crappy’s excited about the blackout. No. 7 USC at Oregon State (9:30 ET, Pac 12 Network): The Beavs are undefeated with two legit wins. The Trojans shouldn’t take this game lightly (but should win). In addition to all of that, Carla gives an honorable mention nod to her MTSU Blue Raiders who get a lovely beach vacation at No. 25 Miami (3:30 ET, ACCN), while Crappy’s relieved that his Bobcats are playing some guy named Fordham. So, get ready for what looks to be another spectacular weekend of college football. And, happy first birthday, Ellie! Cheers, yinz.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Here Comes The Sun (Belt) Edition

t’s Week 3 of the college football season. AJ’s singing a Sunny little tune, Crappy’s writing haikus, and Carla’s looking for more coffee. Yep. That sounds about right. The 2022 season is the gift that just keeps on giving, as the Sun Belt grabbed the national spotlight last Saturday in one of the most wild weekends in college football that we can remember. After recapping the craziness, AJ takes his well-deserved victory lap on this week’s #GroupOfFiveAfterDark report, and Crappy gives us a brief Big Red Bear update before we dive into … ahem … eight games (yes, really!) that we’re super intrigued by this weekend. No. 6 Oklahoma at Nebraska (Big Nude Saturday, FOX): How do the Huskers respond after Scott Frost’s firing? Last season’s rivalry renewal was a closer game than expected. No. 22 Penn State at Auburn (3:30 ET, CBS): Penn State finally located its run game, and Auburn has two QBs. (You know how we feel about this.) Troy at Appalachian St. (3:30 ET, ESPN+): The Mountaineers get a bunch of national attention, but not a national broadcast. Crappy wrote a haiku about it. No. 12 BYU at No. 25 Oregon (3:30 ET, FOX): BYU is fearless. After persevering to an OT win over ranked Baylor last week, can the Cougs do it again in Eugene? No. 11 Michigan St. at Washington (7:30 ET, ABC): This is this week’s We Have No Idea game. Are these teams for real? UTSA at No. 21 Texas (8 ET, Longhorn Network): Could Texas almost beat Alabama, then lose at home to UTSA in consecutive weeks? Meep? No. 13 Miami at No. 24 Texas A&M (9 ET, ESPN): Sure feels like the Aggies are floundering after last weekend’s embarrassment. Miami could run to a win here. San Diego St. at No. 14 Utah (10 ET, ESPN2): This is a must-win for the Utes in a meeting between the most Midwestern-y teams out West. Finally, Carla gives honorable mention nods to Cal at Notre Dame (2:30 ET, NBC) and Tulane at Kansas State (3 ET, ESPN+), while Crappy has a theory about the QB situation for the Team Up North. So, buckle up, kids. This weekend has the potential to be really fun too. Warm up those vocal cords, practice your prose, grab another cup of coffee … and, of course, enjoy the football. Cheers!

Carla and Crappy Show: The What’s With All The Cats Edition

It’s Week 2 of the college football season, and we’re still recovering from what was an insanely good long weekend of games. We mean it. It was nuts, from start to finish. From an incredible opening Thursday night slate of games to chaos in the Carolinas … Georgia looking scary good, Florida looking surprisingly good … and special teams mattering a whole heck of a lot in the Superdome. And those are just the games we remember. (No, really. Carla has a game she labeled as “the weekend was so bonkers I don’t even remember what happened.”) Crappy, of course, has lots of thoughts on the big game in the Shoe. But that was last weekend, and we’ve got more games to talk about as we look ahead to Week 2. As is tradition, AJ goes first with his list of #GroupOf5AfterDark selections. Then, we get into the rest of the schedule. You may notice a theme. No. 24 Tennessee at No. 17 Pitt (3:30 ET, ABC): The Vols beat a cupcake last week while everyone else was watching the Brawl. Can the Panthers pull off this win in consecutive seasons? No. 25 Houston at Texas Tech (4 ET, FS1): If you like offense, this is the game for you. The Cougars escaped UTSA (meep, meep) and now face an even more high-powered offense in Lubbock. Iowa State at Iowa (4 ET, BTN): Uhh, yeah. Iowa State actually has an offense. So, we like the Cyclones here. (We're terrible.) Take the under. No. 9 Baylor at No. 21 BYU (10:15 ET, ESPN): It’s a super late kickoff (caffeinate accordingly!) but this could be the best game of the weekend. Ohio at Penn State (Noon ET, ABC): Carla has concerns about the Penn State offense. Ohio needs some help in the secondary, but Crappy likes his alma mater. (Go Cats!) Honorable mentions: No. 20 Kentucky at 12 Florida (8 p.m. ET, ESPN) became a ranked-on-ranked matchup after we selected our games, so Carla has her eyes on that one … as well as No. 10 USC at Stanford (7:30 ET, ABC) to see if the Stanford Postulate holds up in 2022. Crappy, meanwhile, is looking forward to watching Hawaii perform the pre-game haka in Ann Arbor against No. 4 Michigan (8 ET, BTN). There’s no rest for the weary, yinz. Get ready for what should be another excellent weekend of college football. Cheers!

Carla and Crappy Show: The Math Is Hard Edition

Boys and girls, it's time. Week 0 was fun and all, but this weekend gives us the gift of *counts on fingers* five consecutive days of college football. Whee!
Before we dive into all the goodness that this weekend holds, Carla and Crappy take a look back at Week 0, including Nebraska's second half meltdown and Vandy's offensive prowess. (No, we can't believe we wrote that sentence, either.) And, of course, we hear from AJ, who is very excited about this weekend's #GroupOfFiveAfterDark options.
But enough looking back. Let's get down to business, shall we?
West Virginia at No. 17 Pitt (7 ET Thursday, ESPN): We're both pretty stoked about the return of the Backyard Brawl, although we kind of wish this game was being played in Morgantown.
Penn State at Purdue (8 ET Thursday, FOX): Nothing quite like a conference nailbiter to start the regular season, eh, Carla? West Lafayette is a tough place to play at night.
No. 11 Oregon vs. No. 3 Georgia at Mercedes-Benz Stadium (3:30 ET Saturday, ABC): Ask Crappy about what Oregon is capable of in a season opener where no one is giving them a chance. (Heh.) Georgia's defending a national title ... and seems to have reloaded. This should be a dandy.
No. 23 Cincinnati at No. 19 Arkansas (3:30 ET Saturday, ESPN): Luke Fickell has a different coaching job ahead of him this year, while the Hogs really want some national attention. That's tough in the SEC West.
No. 5 Notre Dame at No. 2 Ohio State (7:30 ET Saturday, ABC): Hitting the road with a new head coach and new QB is a lot to ask out of Notre Dame in Week 1, but we'll see how the Irish stack up against arguably the best offense in the nation in Columbus.
Florida State vs. LSU at Caesars Superdome (7:30 ET Sunday, ABC): The mysteries surrounding both of these teams have us very intrigued about this game.
So get ready to settle in for five straight days of college football. Enjoy the games, yinz. Cheers!

Carla and Crappy Show: The We’re In The Money Edition

Boys and girls, it's finally here. Welcome to Week 0 of the college football season, and welcome to the official start of the 11th season here at the Carla and Crappy Show. As is tradition, the whole gang is here as Carla, Crappy, and AJ dive into the Big Ten's big media rights deal and make preseason picks for the College Football Playoff. Here's a hint: We all agree on three playoff teams. That fourth team though? Your guess is as good as ours. So we make it a literal guessing game. Play along with us at home! Then, yes, there is actual college football being played on Saturday. Here we go. Nebraska vs. Northwestern (12:30 ET, Fox): This game's being played in Dublin, Ireland, because ... why? The Huskers are bringing a bunch of transfers with them across the pond, while Northwestern ... might need some of that Irish luck. Wyoming at Illinois (4 ET, Big Ten Network): Neither of these teams played offense well last year. Bert hired UTSA's (meep, meep) OC in the offseason to help and is low-key building something in Champaign. Duquesne at Florida State (5 ET, ACC Network): The Dukes knocked off Ohio last year, and the Noles lost to Jacksonville State. So, you're saying Duquesne has a chance? Maybe. Briefly. In the first quarter. But don't overreact to this win, Noles fans. Really. Vanderbilt at Hawaii (10:30 ET, CBS Sports Network): AJ is just a wee bit excited to begin the season with a true #AfterDark game featuring his beloved Rainbow Warriors. Hawaii's in a literal rebuild this year. Vandy's not spectacular, but the Dores should be able to fly home winners. So, this is your warning. Go find your streaming passwords. Reset your favorite channels in your guide. Use Saturday as a practice round. Because Thursday? We get five straight days of college football. Cheers, yinz!

Carla and Crappy Show: The Something Happened This Summer Edition

Howdy, boys and girls ... we're back! In what has now apparently become an annual tradition, we're opening Season 11 (gulp!) of the #CnCShow with a special episode to discuss — you guessed it — conference realignment and the blockbuster moves of USC and UCLA to our beloved Big Ten. As such, the whole gang's here. And not surprisingly, Crappy, Carla, and AJ have lots of thoughts on the matter. So many, in fact, that we actually had a Google Doc to keep them all in one place. (Yes, really.) It's a wide-ranging conversation that tackles some big questions. How did this all go down? Who's really pulling the strings here? Will the Pac-12 survive? What about the Big 12 and the ACC? Are we done with teams switching conferences? What are some of the broader implications of all of this? Will Notre Dame finally join a conference? And maybe most importantly, will Minnesota add beach volleyball? So, grab your favorite beverage and maybe a snack or a sandwich and settle in as we dive deep into the new Big Ten ... and welcome you to our new reality: #B1GAfterDark. (AJ is quite excited about this; Crappy, less so. But you probably knew that already, too.) We'll be back in a few weeks to officially get Season 11 underway ... unless something happens and there's more to talk about. Because, yep, we still have no idea. Stay tuned.