The Carla and Crappy Show

Carla and Crappy Show: The 2019 Bowlapalooza Edition

We use the phrase a lot around the #CnCShow, but this time we actually mean it. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year as college football gives us the best holiday gift ever — 2,741 games that mean absolutely nothing. Yes, friends, it’s bowl season, and that can only mean one thing … it’s time for Bowlapalooza. In addition to our #GroupOfFiveAfterDark correspondent AJ Kuftic, we’re joined this year by another AJ … AJ Grande, who is also a college football fanatic and somewhat recovering sports blogger. Two AJs on one show? This isn’t going to get confusing at all. We’re also joined by Carla’s husband, David Fox, who is still a recovering sports journalist and questioning how his wife continually drags him into being a part of this show every year. Because bowl season is, umm, odd this year, we waste no time and dive right in to the goodness. Here are the games that made the official Bowlapalooza cut: Makers Wanted Bahamas Bowl (2 p.m. ET Fri., Dec. 20, ESPN) Buffalo (7-5) vs. Charlotte (7-5) David takes this one because of the coaches. The rest of us really want this game to be sponsored by an alcoholic beverage. Also, enjoy your first-ever bowl appearance, Charlotte! Cheez-It Bowl (10:15 p.m. ET Fri., Dec. 27, ESPN) Air Force (10-2) vs. Washington State (6-6) Remember how we said bowl season was weird? We go a full week between our official picks (don’t worry, we make lots of honorable mentions) … and then we get this beautiful mess. In quite possibly the most on-brand game selection in the history of Bowlapalooza, AJ Kuftic takes this game because it’s after dark and, quite frankly, ridiculous. Autozone Liberty Bowl (3:45 p.m. ET Tues., Dec. 31, ESPN) Navy (10-2) vs. Kansas State (8-4) Carla made this pick out of sheer intrigue. Kansas State’s weakness is its secondary … which isn’t a problem when facing a Navy team that, well, doesn’t throw the ball. Also, watch this game just for the joy of Navy QB Malcolm Perry. You’re welcome in advance. Outback Bowl (1 p.m. ET Wed., Jan 1, ESPN) Minnesota (10-2) vs. Auburn (9-3) Can the Gophers row the damn boat all the way back to Minnesota? AJ Grande thinks so … especially when there’s an ACTUAL BOAT in the stadium where this game is being played. Bad omen for Auburn? Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (3:30 p.m. ET, Fri., Jan. 3, ESPN) Ohio (6-6) vs. Nevada (7-5) Crappy, of course, takes the game featuring his alma mater. It’s a sendoff for Ohio QB Nathan Rourke … who will face a Nevada team that somehow made a bowl game despite giving up 11 more points every game this season than it scored. Bowl season is awesome. While those are our official picks, we also give some love to the Cheribundi Boca Raton Bowl (SMU vs. FAU on Dec. 21 in a home game?), the R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl (App St. vs. UAB on Dec. 21 … just because), the SoFi Hawaii Bowl (Hawaii vs. BYU on Christmas Eve, because YES), the Quick Lane Bowl (Pitt vs. Eastern Michigan on Dec. 26 in a game Crappy thinks the Eagles can win), and the Ticketsmarter Birmingham Bowl (Boston College vs. Cincinnati on Jan. 2, because we’re sorry, Cincy). As always, we’re incredibly grateful to David, AJ, and AJ for joining us. The #CnCShow will be back with our first of two College Football Playoff preview shows during the holiday week. Happy holidays, yinz and y’all.

Carla and Crappy Show: The 2019 Championship Week Edition

What week is it on the Carla and Crappy show? The numbers no longer matter, because it’s Championship Week. AJ, Carla and Crappy take on all 10 conference title games speed-round style, with Crappy’s most obnoxious innovation to date — a bell — keeping everyone in line. And stick around until the end, when the three pick their Final Fours, the G5 New Year’s Six participant and the Army-Navy game. You want the list? Here’s the list: PAC 12: 5 Utah vs 13 Oregon: If the Utes win, are they in? Big 12: 7 Baylor vs 6 Oklahoma: Does the Big 12 have a shot at a playoff spot after all? Sun Belt: Louisiana Lafayette at 21 Appalachian State: Not a whole lot of fun in store for Louisiana. MAC: Miami vs Central Michigan: How in the world did Miami even get here? C-USA: UAB at Florida Atlantic: Is Lane Kiffin moving on? AAC: 20 Cincinnati at 17 Memphis: Have we heard this song before? SEC: 4 Georgia vs 2 LSU: Could LSU jump Ohio State with a big win here? Mountain West: Hawaii at 19 Boise State: The smurf turf is bad news for Hawaii. ACC: 23 Virginia vs 3 Clemson: Clemsoning Index is extremely low. Big 10: 1 Ohio State vs 8 Wisconsin: Weather won’t slow down OSU’s offense this time. Enjoy the games, people, and come back in a couple weeks for Bowlapalooza.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Biggest Nude Wivalwy Week Edition

Week 14 serves up one of our most favorite times of the college football season: Rivalry Week. And what better time to focus on our rivals ... than the two days immediately following giving thanks? We kid. Sorta. We begin by reviewing the hot-off-the-presses College Football Playoff rankings (hello, Ohio State!) and our weekly Clemsoning index. Then AJ goes all-in on #GroupOfFiveAfterDark with his version of Fastest Three Minutes ... on C-USA. Take it all in, folks. It's glorious. Finally, it's on to the good stuff. Get those leftovers ready, because you have a long weekend of football watching ahead of you. No. 1 Ohio State at No. 13 Team Up North (The Biggest Nude Saturday Ever, FOX): There's no mistaking Crappy's loyalties here ... and despite being at odds last weekend, Carla's on board this week. No. 5 Alabama at No. 15 Auburn (3:30 ET Saturday, CBS): Mac Jones, welcome to the SEC. Yes, that's what we've been saying to Bo Nix all season. But entering the Iron Bowl, Bama actually has the QB with fewer starts. Go figure. Expect a good one at Jordan-Hare. No. 12 Wisconsin at No. 8 Minnesota (3:30 ET, Saturday ABC): If the Iron Bowl isn't enough for you, how about a B1G West rivalry with a conference title game berth on the line? These teams are nearly as even statistically as possible ... which team wants it more? No. 7 Oklahoma at No. 21 Oklahoma State (8 ET Saturday, FOX): For dessert? How about some Bedlam goodness? But hold the defense, please. This Thanksgiving week, we're not just thankful for college football ... we're thankful for you for hanging out with us all season. Enjoy the games, yinz guys. Happy Thanksgiving.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Only Game That Matters Edition

It's Week 13 of the college football season, and college football is serving up the perfect pre-Thanksgiving feast. After an appetizer of new playoff rankings, we skip ahead to desserts and talk about the SEC's annual baked goods week. (And no, Abilene Christian is not a high school, even though it sounds like one. We checked.) Our side dish? Texas at No. 14 Baylor (3:30 ET, FS1): Despite last week's second half collapse, Baylor actually does play defense. Texas is coming off a somewhat surprising loss to Iowa State. Which team is motivated to win this game? And then ... the only game that matters. Our main course: No. 8 Penn State at No. 2 Ohio State (Big Nude Saturday, FOX): The Nittany Lions have nothing to lose, but they may have to play a perfect game to knock off the Buckeyes, who will test the Penn State secondary more than any other opponent has this year. (Hint: That's not a good thing if you're wearing blue.) So, get out your stretchy pants a bit early and enjoy the football feast, yinz guys.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Transitive Properties of Khakis Edition

Maybe it’s because their brains were frozen by this week’s cold snap, but Carla dives into the transitive properties of college football and finds that Appalachian State really should be top 4 in the CFP rankings at this point, while Crappy decides this is his week for Hot Takes and what will almost certainly work out to be Dumb Picks. It could also be that Crappy was distracted by his Bobcats playing a tight game against Western Michigan while they taped.   Details? They don’t see eye to eye on this week’s Clemsoning Index, but they agree that Notre Dame needs to be on its toes for a Top 25 matchup against Navy. And that’s even before they start in on this week’s featured games: Georgia at Auburn (3:30 p.m., CBS) — Is Jake Fromm State Farm really that good?; Minnesota at Iowa (4 p.m., Fox) — Rowing the Boat in Iowa City; and Oklahoma at Baylor (7:30 p.m., ABC) — Defense wins championships, except in the Big 12.   Hitch up your khakis, boys and girls, and get ready for a fun weekend.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Showtime Edition

It's Week 11 of the college football season ... and we're getting down to business. After last week's Group of Five frivolity, there are some serious games on the books this weekend. Which means we're getting all serious-like on the #CnCShow.    (OK, so maybe it's also because one of us had to work on Election Night. But we're going to roll with it.)   Because we recorded earlier than usual this week, we begin by making our College Football Playoff ranking predictions. So listen to see how close we were! (Because, honestly, we were pretty close.)   And then: Three gigantic games. Let's go.   No. 4 Penn State at No. 17 Minnesota (Noon ET, ABC): The Golden Gophers have rowed the boat all the way to an 8-0 record, controlling their own destiny in the B1G West. Penn State suddenly finds itself right in the thick of the Playoff picture, but needing a win to remain there. The Nits have better wins on the year thus far; it might snow in Minnesota this weekend. Buckle up.   No. 2 LSU at No. 3 Alabama (3:30 ET, CBS): Just because these teams aren't No. 1 and No. 2 respectively doesn't make this any less important of a game. Both secondaries will get a workout facing these power offenses. How is Tua? We'll find out Saturday afternoon.    No. 18 Iowa at No. 13 Wisconsin (4 ET, FOX): It's been a rough couple of weeks for Bucky. A win at home against the Hawkeyes could be just what the doctor ordered. After being bottled up by Ohio State, will Jonathan Taylor find his way through the also-really-good Iowa run defense?    Enjoy the games, yinz guys.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Points-y Edition

It's Week 10 of the college football season ... and well, we're not super impressed with the slate of big games this week. As in ... there's the Cocktail Party ... and not much else. So while the rest of the college football universe is soaking up the Florida/Georgia mystique, we're going in the complete opposite direction. Ladies and gents, it's time for the #CnCShow #GroupOfFiveAfterDark edition. (We'll wait for your applause to stop.) We're joined live this week by our #GroupOfFiveAfterDark correspondent A.J. ... who guides us through conversation on the three most interesting Group of Five games, featuring players you may never have heard of. But that's what makes college football awesome in our books. Arkansas State at Louisiana-Monroe (3:30 ET, ESPNU): If you love offenses that put up points, this game is for you. Because next to the definition of "defense optional" in the college football handbook this year ... are photos of these two teams. Both teams give up almost 500 yards per game. Arkansas State has won nine straight in this series; it's homecoming for Louisiana-Monroe. This has all of the makings of Fun Belt awesomeness. No. 15 SMU at No. 24 Memphis (7:30 ET, ABC): Gameday's gonna be on Beale Street. That should be enough to make you watch this game. (Also, it's the featured game on ABC, so there's that.) SMU's QB is Shane Buechele (yes, the one formerly of Texas). Memphis boasts a stud true frosh RB in Kenneth Gainwell, who can do just about everything. Fresno State at Hawaii (11:59 ET, Facebook): This is quite possibly the most #GroupOfFiveAfterDark game ever. It kicks off at midnight ET ... will span over the Daylight Savings time change on the East Coast ... and is only being streamed on Facebook. Watch this game to see Hawaii QB Cole McDonald, who is living his best life on the islands as the No. 4 passer in all of FBS. So, bask in the glory of the Group of Five-ness this weekend. Enjoy the games, yinz guys.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Hey Charlie Edition

It's Week 9 of the college football season and we've got cats, garage-sale-esque trophies, scary Halloween costumes, and potential political campaign slogans on our minds.   We begin by taking a look back at last week's craziness, including Wisconsin playing the role of Georgia playing the role of Clemson ... a 6 OT game that somehow no one paid attention to ... and Vandy actually winning a football game. We also do our best to try to convince PJ Fleck to run for governor if Minnesota wins the Big Ten West.     Then we get into the good stuff.   No. 13 Wisconsin at No. 3 Ohio State (Big Nude Saturday, FOX): This game lost quite a bit of luster after Bucky's loss last weekend; can those stinkin' Badgers rebound with a huge upset on the road? Also of note, Crappy insists he won't be nude in the Shoe on Saturday afternoon, despite the game's billing.   No. 9 Auburn at No. 2 LSU (3:30 ET, CBS): Oh, Bo Nix. This looks like a big hill to climb. Both sets of Tigers are great at stopping the run; that's inconsequential for an LSU offense that's putting up approximately 2,376 yards passing per game this season. Auburn's going to be a great team ... but this one's likely gonna be rough.   No. 8 Notre Dame at No. 19 Michigan (7:30 ET, ABC): The mismatch between Notre Dame's scoring defense and Michigan's scoring offense is pretty monumental from a statistical sense. Jimmy's upset about officiating; Brian Kelly's negotiating with priests. What we really want to know, though, is can both teams lose this game?   No. 6 Penn State at Michigan State (3:30 ET, ABC): Before we go, Carla brings up the rivalry game with the greatest trophy of all time. Land Grant, you're a thing that only Big Ten fans could love. Also, Sparty has a history of knocking off highly-ranked Penn State teams. So, white knuckles it is on Saturday.   Enjoy the games, yinz guys.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Bye Bye Bye Edition

It's Week 8 of the college football ... and we're going back, back ... back again ... Backstreet's back ... oh, whatever. We've got inaccurate late 90s song references and a bunch of great football this week. We begin by throwing our hands up in the air with a look at our weekly Clemsoning Index (which is higher than usual, so you don't want to miss a thing), and then check in with AJ, who is living la vida loca with some #GroupOfFiveAfterDark games. And then, we dive into our weekly slate, beginning with two games that have us wanting it that way: No. 18 Baylor at Oklahoma State (4 ET, FOX): Baylor's undefeated and ranked. Who knew? The Bears face a big test on the road this week. No. 9 Florida at South Carolina (Noon ET, ESPN): Florida lost a heartbreaker; the Gamecocks scored the win of last weekend. Which team is ready to play? Then we move to the Pac-12, possibly for the last time this season (at least Crappy hopes so, because it doesn't impress him much) ... No. 12 Oregon at No. 25 Washington (3:30 ET, ABC): Oregon is quietly putting together a nice season and is relying on its defense, of all things. Washington's got a good QB in Jacob Eason; can the Huskies keep the Ducks in check? #Pac12BeforeDark No. 17 Arizona State at No. 13 Utah (6 ET, Pac-12 Network): We'd advise you to watch this #Pac12AtDusk game (which Crappy has deemed a coin flip), but no one can see it because it's on the Pac-12 Network, which is the most Pac-12 thing ever. And, just for Carla, we save tonight and fight the break of dawn ... for a whiteout. No. 16 Michigan at No. 7 Penn State (7:30 ET, ABC): Jimmy's in the hot seat for the Team Up North, and Carla's feeling confident, which isn't something that happens all that often. Enjoy the games, yinz guys.

Carla and Crappy Show: The Philosophical Looney Toons Edition

Week 7 of the college football season means it's time for midterms, fall breaks, and rivalries. And that, apparently, is enough to make us put on our floppy academic hats and fall down a ... psychological rabbit hole, if you will. So we begin with a debate as to whether the #CnCShow Stanford Postulate is still a thing, and move on to whether Florida State counts as a Clemsoning opponent. If you're still hanging with us by that point, we'll reward you with the frivolity that we call AJ's #GroupOfFiveAfterDark report. Then, class resumes as we break down three huge games this weekend. Get your pencils ready. No. 6 Oklahoma vs. No. 11 Texas (Big Nude Saturday, FOX): The annual Elmer Fudd Invitational once again boasts two offensive juggernauts. (They didn't rename this the Red River Shootout for nothing, you know.) And hey ... Oklahoma actually is showing some improvement on defense! No. 10 Penn State at No. 17 Iowa (7:30 ET, ABC): In the antithesis of the previous game, two of the top three scoring defenses in the country go head-to-head in Iowa City. Penn State needs another quick start; Iowa is looking to rebound after being stifled by Michigan last week. No. 7 Florida at No. 5 LSU (8 ET, ESPN): The Gators face Top 10 opponents in back-to-back weekends. That's a tough ask for any quarterback, let alone a backup thrust into a starting role (even if Kyle Trask is performing admirably). Joe Burrow has the LSU spread offense averaging more than 570 yards per game. (No, you're not misreading that.) Got all that? Good. There'll be a quiz next week. Also, what is blue? Enjoy the games, yinz guys. (And happy birthday, Crappy!) Class dismissed.